Farewell baby

Fare thee well, Farewell baby

I did not know you
There wasn't enough time
But I prayed for you
Because you were mine
I believe you knew me
I believe you were on assignment to strengthen me.
Just like the other two
But you were not to stay

You did what you came to do and then came the day...
Daddy wept for you when you left
But while he was away was when I wept. I hardly slept.
I was uncertain at first how I would manage
Uncertain of the emotional damage
That I was causing myself
Was this damaging my health?
Was this hormones or emotional trauma?
But I've given myself this same kind of drama
My womb was strong and held up then
A veteran, I wasn't worried about an abrupt end
So when you decided to evacuate your space
It was a confusing and devastating case
And I wasn't prepared to let you go
I was finally committed to letting you grow
Just at the start of celebration, we were overtaken by grief
Your presence was beautiful even if unfinished and brief
The storm began to brew

And deep inside I already knew
With high winds of emotional revolt,

the pain hit like a lightning bolt
Then the battle began
Labor took you by the hand as you waved goodbye
What God allowed I could not defy
I felt time tear you from the womb, a slow and brutal removal
My body began to give time my unsolicited approval
Labor delivered you to our Father who received you well
Leaving me with the empty shell where you were supposed to dwell
My mind body and spirit made room for you
The Little empire made room for you too
Your sisters were proud to own you as theirs
Claiming a space for you in their prayers
Daddy wanted you to be his first mate
Your sisters, their playmate
I just prayed to see your face on your birth date
But God had other plans

Better than mine, daddy’s or any other man’s
And that's when the son shined
When I remembered He had it in His hands and the battle wasn't mine
He Calmed the storm, stopped the wind and eased the pain
Because at that moment I was at peace because I knew the pain was ordained
And when the process of goodbye was complete
We had experienced the opposite of defeat
I was joined by my husband.
Together we prayed and decided it was ok not to understand
Our love was renewed; we laughed and loved on repeat
So glad we didn't experience ultimate defeat
Not even when they said you didn't have a heartbeat
Your existence was still and forever will be so divinely sweet!

Fare thee well, Farewell baby

BE encouraged. This is not defeat. The pain was ordained. Rest assured this is not the end for you. There is greater up ahead, you're just being prepared for it. Nothing was taken away from you, but rather something was GIVEN to you, so that when you pass this test and you move into your "NEXT" it will be revealed to you why this had to happen. But please, have faith!

The plans He has for you does not include harm. Jeremiah 29:11