VLOG Series: 7 poetry videos [video 2]

Commentary and Discussion

This poem reveals that part of my story that gave me my message, the very thing that fuels me as a speaker and empoweress, and that is standing in one's power. Now see, this poem reveals how I wasn't standing in my power. It reveals how I was giving my power away. The first line tell it all... "You let me believe it was ok to love you." The entirety of the lesson can come from that line alone, each line thereafter just makes it juicier and juicier, deeper and deeper. But its the fact that once I point the finger and blame someone for and action that I took is the moment that I give them my pen and let them write my story. It wasn't him that let me believe anything. I allowed myself, gave myself the permission to accept what was offered to me. I allowed myself to believe loving him was the right decision for me. Now, many will say you can't control who you fall in love with. I won't even place my argument in that debate. I've experience love in enough ways to know that love is the single most powerful thing you can experience and have happen to you. But what you can control for sure is how you act on that love, what you choose to do, how you respond and at what level you choose to engage yourself in that love experience.

I chose to give him sole custody of my power by refusing to invest in myself. you would think that would make me selfless, but it made me selfISH. I wasn't adding the proper value to the relationship because I wasn't realizing my own self-worth or adding value to myself. I stopped growing. A creature without evolution is extinct. I was facing extinction because I refused to evolve. I would have rather be stuck in time suspended in a moment than create new and improved moments informed by my growth and evolution. I was wanting to grow into him...lol that makes me think of an ingrown toenail lol. Well, my friend ingrown toenails HURT. That's for sure. But what happens when you KNOW you have an ingrown toenail and you do nothing about it? That pain becomes self-inflicted.

Sometimes we must go back and assess our pain, categorizing what was self-inflicted and what was not, so that we have all the information to make better choices and not create unhealthy habits. If I never assessed my pain and understood the purpose of my pain then I would have developed a hardened heart or placed myself in a state of habitual hurt with the inability to see my blessings or to forgive. This is exactly what happened. I became stuck in my pain story which blocked my blessings and healing.

3 Takeaways

1. Love Yourself First.

Don't depend on someone to show you how you should be loved. That's your job. You show them by loving yourself.

2. Accountability.Don't give your power away.

You cannot control what others do, but you can control what you do. So hold yourself accountable by setting non-negotiable standards for what you will and won't allow from yourself and from others.

3. Don't give your power away.

You give your power away when you let someone else make the decision for you. Even in that, you are still making a decision, so you might as well make your own decision based on your integrity and long term benefit.

4.BONUS: Be clear on your purposes and allowances.

You must be clear as to why you open yourself up and allow someone into your sacred chambers of self.